Growing up I was a anxious child, teen and adult. I am learning to control my mind. Never underestimates the power of your mind….
My son hates to be late and he is a perfectionist, anxious and very competitive by his own nature. Yes, together with the school we have been working on it with him. I do believe it is engrained in his personality because he has been like that since early years in life also this was flagged as cause of concern by his first teacher in primary school.
I have started recently researching about the genetic conditions parents can pass onto their children. If I was born as anxious person would I pass on the genes to my children? Thankfully I have been managing my anxiety with success by practising mindfulness, doing cognitive therapy and by pure lessons learnt from experience.
Nowadays I intend to see my challenges as a blessings i.e. when I had my ‘Irish twins’ was easier for me to complain about sleepless nights, forever nappy changing but instead I was thanking God for having my children, for them being able to move their bowels, being able to express themselves even if it was by crying. At the beginning of my career I set my expectations very high and went for a role I preached to give my 110% to then find the job to be the hardest I ever had. I then worked overtime, cried a lot in private but still thanked my boss for taking the gamble on it and for giving that opportunity. It paid off as I have been in the industry for years and can certainly say that experience made me believe more in myself, stronger, resilient and experienced. It is all down to the power of our mind..
Unfortunately as Einstein once quoted “The only source of knowledge is experience”… but I am not willing to cross my arms, sit and wait to see my child suffer. Yes, he will mature with age but for now it is my duty to teach and guide to the best as I can. I remember seeing a quote by Robert Heinlein whereby he suggested that parents should not handicap their children by making their lives easy. So what am I supposed to do? Seriously, can someone guide me here?
The reason am touching base on this topic is that yesterday my son was sent back home from school feeling breathless and a sharp pain in his stomach. I don’t drop him to school so I did not realise there was an incident in the morning that triggered those symptoms. Managing the situation from work I guided the minder to bring him to the GP and get him checked for appendicitis or some type of gastro concern. But my gut feeling told me that this would be something psychosomatic. I know my son.
Monitoring the situation from work isn’t easy but I managed to talk to the GP today who has explained me that my son was feeling anxious and under pressure because his train was late and he was afraid of the consequences that it would cause i.e. the teacher and parents giving out to him, being called to the Principles office, his peers laughing at him. I felt relieved as I almost knew this diagnose without even knowing about the train delay in addition he didn’t show any sign of distress, pain or issue the day before or lately so that was an assurance.
I rang up the phone and all my memories from childhood came back to me. I then composed myself returned to work but couldn’t stop think of it and how and what I could do to help him. imagine what would life be for him if he doesn’t learn to get the hang of it and control his emotions? How many let downs would he have in life? I am yet to meet someone that preach life to be perfect with no obstacles or challenges. The beauty of life is that YOU can pick our destiny. Life can have obstacles and be challenging so then learn to live with it or do something about it. Why get stressed over things that are out of your control? In my viewpoint life without obstacles or challenges is not worth living…. They teach us resilience, humbleness and build our personality.
So guess what? Methodical as I am, I have drawn up an action plan to track his improvement. The way my plan is structured is to address: mind, body and health.
Mindfulness/Yoga –He has been doing yoga and mindfulness for two years now…am hopeful that by practising breathing and patience exercise he will realise that he needs to take his time in life and live ‘the present, the moment’. His yoga/mindfulness class is given my Claire Welton; an amazing and patient practitioner in South West London for those interested. Her class content reads “Yoga is a powerful tool for self-exploration and awareness. Many changes take place during the tweens/teen years and yoga positively supports this transition. The benefits happen on a physical, emotional and mental level. A regular yoga practice during the teenage years can help balance the body’s chemistry and physiology. Yoga classes help the tweens/teens deal with changing emotions, as well as physically nurturing the body’s flexibility. The classes provide a safe, secure, non-competitive environment and help build on self-confidence. They offer a framework for tweens/teens to see positive shifts, without the pressure of needing to ‘change’. It is a joyful space to ‘be’ and a chance for much needed relaxation. Yoga provides a wonderful platform for tweens/ teens to work on self – acceptance and to generally make positive changes in their lives. The yoga classes are fun– appropriate yoga postures/sequences, breathing, mindfulness/meditation exercises and relaxation.”
By the way if you struggle with the word ‘tweens’ as I was, don’t worry you are not alone!
Exercise – He is doing what he loves the most: running and judo. So that is addressed 🙂
Food –Good God Almight, do I pay attention to what my children eat?! Yes, hence my passion for Functional Medicine. I have a post on the benefits of functional medicine. I am working on a quick steps to health post; that will be for those struggle to digest the bombarding amount of information in the media. It is not one size fits all (that’s the key characteristic of functional medicine), but it might shed some light! 🙂
And yes my children take daily supplements of vitamin D and Omega 3 and their diet is filled with macro and micro nutrients.
I better dash now as bed awaits… not before 15mins of mindfulness 🙂
Never underestimate your brain power; it processes the messages you send in and releases the outputs such as the decisions you make, your actions, your attitude.
Challenge yourself and train your brain to see challenges as blessings, as opportunity, as something beneficial to you.
Have a wonderful and healthy weekend 🙂
Keep breathing xx