Have you noticed the amount of people that show off by trying to point out their achievements, capabilities? They rarely giving you a break before bursting in more of themselves! :-)Have you also noticed when you are telling someone something about yourself the other person automatically (I think by default) start comparing with their experience and without even realise they are ‘judging’ you? Oh boy, how much I don’t like it… I have a great friend of mine, Fabiana, who is my inspiration as she always listen with attention, questions and if I don’t ask her opinion or if she came across similar event she does not give her view – she listen and acts as if she cares; am certain she does. It is amazing and so inspiring!
Today was a long day but let me try to concisely put it in context.
Who for example wants to have a manager that constantly give loads about themselves? Say a reportee approaches his/her manager to discuss a concern and the manager immediately express his views without being requested and the view differs from the reportee’s? Perhaps it would shuts off the reportee as he/she will be afraid of how he/she will be perceived. When you are dealing with heads and managing directors the story can be very intimidating as they do represent authority and can definitely make changes i.e. not granting promotion etc. Do you get my point? Hope so.
Frequently people tell me I don’t look old enough to have 4 children; some have the guts to ask whether I was a teen mother or if my children were adopted…and it is usually followed by “and you work fulltime”, “do you have time for yourself?”. Well, in those instances I intend not to tell them am also a functional medicine student and do charity work in my spare time!
However have them noted the effort I put in to look healthy, to keep my mind at check and manage my household? Do they know how much it cost for me to have ‘me’ time? Do they know my priorities? I reckon people just see the output and think “how lucky she is!”.
Marriage is not an easy journey, neither is keeping up with a healthy living J Yes, I do have similar struggles and challenges people have such as doubt my actions/achievements, financial, burst outs etc… am not a super woman; I just try to juggle it all to the best of my ability. I listen to my heart, my gut feelings, learn from my experiences, and my body – if I need time off so it is what my body and mind get!
There has been numerous times that I have taken time off at work (out of my well-deserved annual leave entitlements) to meditate, read book, chillax and have me time or even take time with my kids on an one to one basis if that’s what my mind guides me to.
Those events always get me to rethink and reassure me that I have come a long way…. If it was few year ago I would flip and would try to explain myself and prove that I can juggle it all (or so I believe! – am not perfect after all). But life has taught me great things. During the years I have lived I have learnt a lot and hopefully am capable to see beyond what they are trying to tell me…. Or praise me…. Or whatever. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone because I believe in me.
Then the above gets me to my point I wanted to make. Change in personality and altitude comes with maturity, experience and time. As the time goes by and so your age you get to discover your capabilities, limitations, abilities and you will start believing more in yourself…you will give you the reassurance you need thus you won’t need to rely on people’s. And hopefully you will be able to look beyond the point of having to prove yourself also beyond intellectual and physical imperfections.
You will discover the real you, your priorities and from them you can draw your destiny.
Healthy living xx